The Fan from Japan

I have come to report the developments in the growing fans’ club of Mr Boznik Yap. This latest report is about his followings from Japan. It happened during on our latest trip form Bacolod. After getting the hang of traveling by boat since he was two weeks old, Boz has learned the art of traveling without the hassles of seasickness. It was just like having a dancer for a nanny waltzing endlessly.

In this trip, he spent the first minutes looking past the window to the hustle – bustle of life at the port. He would turn his head to watch people carry themselves into the boat, passengers who like us are going back to Iloilo to attend to our regular lives and porters who strain their backs from the load of baggage and luggage of commuters for this one hour boat trip. After a while, Boz got bored and remembered that he was hungry, and so he grew restless and cranky. As a mother, you can read the signs early and start preparing before he has a chance to wail his heart out. And so he gobbled up his milk and disappeared to dreamland.

He awoke with the crashing of cars from Johnny English. And like after every good dream, he woke up with a smile. We were already near the port of Iloilo when he started to scan the environment for helpless victims to his charm. He then tilted his head to one side and saw a grandma sitting three seats away from us. Then the master started to work. He put his hand on his mouth, made eye contact with the old lady and gave out his irresistible smile. Voila! She was stunned. He repeated his routine on and on until the old lady abandoned all her senses and fell trap to his spell. Now she will be known as the old lady stunned on the boat.

After a while, he got bored, I guess, and he started working his powers on other subjects, the Japanese guys seated right behind us. That I didn’t know until later because I was already preparing our things for disembarking. When I stood up, I sensed a presence behind me and I saw this fifty-something Japanese guy already touching Boznik’s face. I smiled. Knowing my son’s powers I wasn’t surprised at his capacity to amass followers from everywhere. What I didn’t see coming was the events that followed.

Mr. Jappy (pronounced “Happy”) held Bozzy’s hand. And then he opened his arms as if to get Bozzy from me. Being the diva-baby, Boznik extended his arms to Mr. Jappy. Yes, they instantly bonded. Before I could even react Boznik was already with Mr. Jappy. He seemed too comfortable that he forgot about me. Mr. Jappy then patted his back and uttered the one syllable word that I did not instantly comprehend: “Ga?” Huh? Am I supposed to understand that? Was that a term of endearment or is he already saying something derogatory? Mr. Jappy’s friend must have sensed my predicament so he came to the rescue. Then I realized that the one syllable was actually the Japanese way of saying “girl”. All the Rs and no Ls. I should have thought of that. So, they were asking if Boznik was a girl or a boy. That must have been Mr. Jappy’s way of striking a conversation. I told Mr. Jappy then Bozzy was a “he” but I think they did not really care because the whole time, his eyes are on Boznik and he was patting his back and smiling at him. The diva-baby did nothing but be himself, putting his one hand into his mouth and drool falling over Jappy’s shoulder.

I would not have bothered except that people were already queuing to disembark and the diva-baby was still in the arms of Mr. Happy. Suddenly, I was engulfed with the strange idea that these Japanese guys are actually con men waiting for the opportunity to snatch an innocent for a hostage. So I tugged at Boznik’s cap (as if that will really make a difference should Mr. Jappy push me aside and run away with Boz) in an effort to keep my hand on Boz. Then without even thinking, I took Boznik from the arms of Mr. Jappy and edged my way out of the boat. Jappy and company were behind us while we file at the gangplank. But I was no longer worried. Seeing Mikey down at the gates with his big smile at the sight of his wife and son, I knew we will be safe. Mr. Jappy and company were fetched by some business like creatures and Boznik and I are back to our normal lives again.

Looking back, I can see the power of my son, the diva-baby to really catch the attention of innocent bystanders. Perhaps, it is the image of familiar people that makes him get their attention. Who can resist a baby’s smile when you are seeing in him your grandson, a nephew or a son that has outgrown you. Maybe, Mr. Jappy thought that he was a son of a Japanese considering his chinky eyes and white complexion. And that he saw in Boz someone dear to his heart. All it really takes is just one look and he must have been flooded with memories from a not so distant past.

Whatever compelling power allowed for events to happen as it is. Only one thing is sure - Boznik rules! And he is about to conquer the world.

The Coveted Life of Sister Veronica (Part 1)

When I was teaching in La Salle, I have the privilege of meeting Sister Ver. She is an ex-nun who devoted her life to teaching, if not tormenting college students, on the subject of Rizal’s life and work. She was 57 when I met her. At Wester 24 (the faculty room of philosophy and economics teachers), she stands out prominently as the old spinster among the fresh looking faces. Back then, we were wearing uniform at work. by that, I mean the same color and fabric but of different cut and style. Sister Ver’s style is nothing flamboyant. In fact, she has the same cut for all her uniforms – sports collared blouse with matching pants. When you look at her, you will see that she is nothing exceptional from the rest of the people around her until you get to know her better.

You see, Sister Ver has money, not family wealth but hard-kept savings from her years of teaching. She is an ex-nun so you can expect her not to have the burden of worry of an average mother or breadwinner in the family. While the rest of the people in the faculty room worry about how to make both ends meet with their fixed salary, she worries on how she could cut some corners to be able to spend less of it. And frankly, you can learn valuable lessons from her austerity measures:

1. There is still such a thing as free lunch when you know how to find it. Sister Ver has the habit of moving around campus and checking on the activities people are into, like birthday celebrations and special occasions. And when she comes across one of these, she makes it a point to linger a while to avail of free food and drinks.

2. The Noontime Combo. This is a variation of number 1. In one of her campus tours, she found out that the building and grounds (B&G) cooperative (composed of the maintenance staff) are cooking lunch for its staff. And with this valuable information, she no longer ate lunch with us at Wester 24; she joined her comrades as the B&G canteen for lunch. The catch is, they share their viand with her for free.

3. Reuse, reheat and recycle – the art of prolonging the life of your food. Because Sister Ver lives alone, she is constantly confronted with the problem of preparing food for herself. And so she improvised as in the case of meat, raw meat to fried meat to adobo to sinabawan na adobong karne with some gulay. I don’t really know how it tasted butit surely satisfied her taste. As for those times when somebody shares some viand for lunch, she would save whatever baon she brought and bring it hope for dinner. Whatever is left is fed to the stray cat that comes at her kitchen every now and then. See, no waste!

4. Pay for your lunch but make sure you get the most out of it. It is almost impossible to collect from Sister Ver whenever we decide to chip-in some money for a salu-salo. When we are successful, someone would volunteer to pay for her and make her feel uncomfortable about having to owe someone some money. Other times, she would tell us she is not coming and then she would show up on the day of the celebration and eat for free.

There is this one time when we decided to have a pot-luck lunch and ask everyone to bring something to share with the group. We were wary in asking her to bring some viand knowing her interesting dishes and so we decided to ask her to take care of the rice for the occasion. She was specifically told to cook at least one kilo of rice for the group; that would just cost her no more than P30.00 as compared to what each of us were willing to spend for drinks and elaborate dishes. When the day came, we all gathered in the spirit of agape and shared the food that we brought only to end up disappointed because Sister Ver made it a point buy cheapest rice in the market. And she did not stop at that, she even mixed her previous night’s left over rice with the new one and made it all worse. We all just have to look at each other through the entire meal but we never complained.

5. Light conquers darkness. Sister Ver lives in one of the low-cost housing set up by La Salle for its employees. In La Salleville. Your neighbor is just two arms’ length away from your side window. Since Sister Ver lives alone, you will expect that the she is just paying a minimal amount for water and electricity. This fact, however, does not meet her satisfaction. She still believes that she can further can bring down her bill by ingenuous ways. For electricity, she no longer turns her light on at night for several reasons: she does not have much activity at night and so she does not need electricity. Two, she sleeps early. And three, this I like best, her neighbor is having all their lights on and it spills out to her side of the window, anyway.

In the case of water, number 3 also applies. During rainy season, she would save rain water and use it for all her washing needs. The dirty water will then be used for cleaning the house and watering the plants. As for water from the faucet, the same is applied.
6. The boat is sinking, your head is spinning. There is this one time when she visited her folks in Iloilo for vacation. Her father gave her and her niece money for their ride home. The money was substantial enough for them to take the SuperCat, the catamaran type of vessel that provides comfortable one-hour ride to Bacolod. But when they reached the pier, she found out that there were other ferry boats traversing the Iloilo-Bacolod route at a far lower price. Being the person that she is, she coaxed her niece that they take the cheaper boat ride so they could save some of the money given to them. And so they did.

The boat ride however was a rough one which led her to feeling seasick. When they got off the boat, she had to be rushed to the hospital because of the whole incident. Talk about saving some pesos for a thousand’s worth of hospitalization. Moral of the story: if you will not pay for it, you might as well enjoy it.

There are several others but this is all I can think of right now. I do hope you learn from them. The next time around, I will share you some other lessons we can learn from the life of Sister Ver. Then it will make you realize that there are actually many things that life at 60 has to offer.

The Coveted Life of Sister Veronica (Part 2)

Last time I shared with you some austerity measures that we can learn from Sister Ver. It was quite interesting to note how life in the convent could change ones way of life after sometime. For those who do not know what I am talking about. Let me introduce to you Sister Veronica. She is an ex-nun who has devoted all her life to the teaching profession. I came to know Sister Ver in my short stay in La Salle and I have much to learn from her interesting life.

Sister Ver used to teach in La Salle High School Boys. For some reason not quite clear to me, she opted to teach in college and landed in the philosophy department. As a colleague, I have nothing against her. Well, I guess because I have an extreme tolerance for eccentrics being one myself. Others have a problem about her being close minded. She stands by what she believes is right and refuses to be swayed otherwise. The devil in me, however, does not find it difficult to deal with the likes of her. The thing is, you can’t fight fire with fire and to deal with Sister Ver, you need to go through the subtle approach. Make it look like she was not wrong but she just changed her mind. People who knew of this strategy have constantly used this power to influence her decisions and to gain her favors.

The thing with Sister Ver is that she is so good to those who are good to her. And sometimes, they manage to borrow money from her without interest! Here is someone who is so bent on living a miser’s life allows herself to lend money so that others could do better with their endeavors. The sad thing, however, is that these people so good at getting money from her are also so good at eluding her come collection time. What do you expect? A friend in need, is a friend indeed!

There had been rumors at the real truth about her leaving the congregation. They say that she was actually asked to leave. Sister Ver has been in the teaching ministry in La Salle since time immemorial. And because she is leaving out of the convent, she has the luxury of owning a home. The thing however is that the enterprising side of her made her think of taking in boarders in her humble abode. And not only that, she also engages is lending money for a meager interest. Well, such practice is unheard of with nuns. Poverty, chastity and obedience, right? As expected, word reached the convent and they asked her to leave. To which, the rest is history. Sister Ver, on the other hand, has a different version of the story. She said that her mother superior developed an extreme liking for her, a fatal attraction of some sort. Because of this, she decided to leave. I don’t really know who’s telling the truth but I’m kind of inclined to believe the former.

As a teacher, Sister Ver was known as the tormenting ex-nun. She has no qualms about asking her students to memorize Rizal’s My Last Farewell and making that her final exam. Of course this was received with much protest knowing that there really is no point in the whole activity, not even appreciation since all it requires is complete recall. For the diligent ones, the way to deal with Sister Ver was to just give in to her demands and survive a semester without really learning anything. But for the bolder ones, they would begrudgingly air their protests come evaluation time. It is because of this that the academic board finally decided to take her off the teaching pool and make her a discipline officer.

Sister Ver did not really know the real reason for the change of designation. Somehow, she saw it as a change from the demands of academe. Now she would not be pressured to compute for grades (she always makes it a point to submit her grades ahead of everyone else), prepare her lessons (after all those years of teaching the same subject, I don’t really see the challenge for her in this respect) or even in dealing with students who try to sweet talk her for a passing mark. Now, all she has to do is walk around campus and look out for campus rules violators.

Sister Ver the Discipline Officer. Armed with a whistle, Sister Ver would come to school early each morning and start her morning walk around campus. Her target- students who are not wearing their IDs, graduating students not abiding with the rules on proper civilian attire, regular students who are not in their school uniform and lovers openly displaying their affection in public. She would start her rounds at eight in the morning, carefully staring at each students chest as she makes her way in the corridors. From there, she would pass by the classrooms, occasionally peeping through the door and checking for students who are not in uniform. From there, she would head for the cafeteria and the gazebo where she would sometimes find couples holding hands or even cuddling each other. When she does, she would approach them and give them a lecture on proper decorum for students in campus. And I tell you, with the youth of today, she is treated with indifference rather than with respect.