Restless Thoughts

I have been missing you a lot recently. I don't know why but I am once again entering a phase in my life where I am in need of a person to talk to. Just talk... with no inhibitions. We have been kindling such a relationship for quite some time that it gets some getting used to not having you there to just spend some time with. I remember those times when we just hang out and talk about people that matter to us, the same people that we have brought us our greatest happiness and our saddest of memories. We had a hearty laugh and other times, silence was enough.

I am able to carry on because of you. And in my troublesome moments, you stood by me without questions asked even though we both know that I was already headed for the fall. I took your silence as a sign of your confidence that somehow, in my irrational state, I will be okay. And true enough, I made it through.

Your friendship has allowed me to voice out my thoughts without having to think twice before talking. And sometimes it makes think of my own relationship and how much censorship has to take place if only for the right words and the right actions for the appropriate occasions.

I have been longing for your company again, these days, if only for me to be myself. Then I will be okay.

Early Morning Thoughts 1

Seeing the sun from my desktop is one of the scenes I do not often witness. Not because it does not shine but because I usually go to work late enough to catch it peeping through the leaves of the giant rubber tree right outside my window. It reminds me of the countless times that I would devote daydreaming and make believe lives. I miss bonding with myself, one past time that I have enjoyed for so long as I can remember. Now that I have succumbed to the calls of family life, my regiment has adjusted to the duties and responsibilities that marriage demands.

Earlier, I was thinking of Miki and what his health. He is diabetic but as far as I can remember, he has not really done so much to temper his appetite for the stuff that is not good for him. Occassionally, he would have sudden attacks of guilt and he would try to choose the food that he eats. Other times, he just binges and leaves everything else to fate.

Fate, where should that take him? Where should it take us?