Praying for Rain and It Came (Almost!)

Praying for Rain and It Came (Almost!)

I received an unexpected news from Ellen yesterday informing me of her dad’s death. I was taken aback; from our last conversation, I thought her dad was just getting the early signs of the disease, turns out, death knew better than to give him more time to suffer.

Then I had strict orders from Ellen that I should not be telling others about it and that I allow her to do it on her own time. So how do I break the news to Ian without necessarily breaking Ellen’s confidence?

I called Ian earlier. Turns out he was in Antique yesterday for some caving expedition (perhaps the reason why I didn’t get any response for all those text messages I sent him yesterday). It was his birthday treat to himself, he said. We weren’t able to talk long as there was lots of noise in the background (he must be on the road) so I just asked him when was the last time he talked with Ellen. He said he hasn’t talked with her. I then told him to call her, perhaps just to know how she is doing. He said he had no reason to call her. I would have wanted to talk him into it but I was so distracted by the background noise and I have not yet organized my sales pitch and I would want to be prepared to work my way around Ellen’s request hehehehehhe. So I told him to call as soon as he’s able to we can talk further.

What do I say to him? He’s in the process of detaching himself from the pain; she is currently consumed by pain. He is trying to move on finding his worth outside the relationship; she is holding on to it.

Ellen and Ian, there were times when I hoped you’d finally accept the fact your relationship wasn't making you better persons.

But you were also good for each other, and you needed each other to be able to experience love and care. But unless there is acceptance not retribution for past mistakes, there is no way to fill the gap that continues to grow in between.

I hope the recent turn of events will humble you both and make things better.

Letter to a Friend

Too many thoughts...I was thinking of a friend last night and her perpetual problem of running away from events that challenge her comfort zone. And so I wrote her this letter...

Hello dear,

I understand where you are coming from but I hope you would also consider my point of view on the matter. Even before Miki told you about C I already knew it was not going the path of happy ending. Knowing you for years now, I knew he was not your type (admit it!). But don’t worry; I kept my thoughts to myself so Miki doesn’t have the faintest idea.

Of course, you know Miki could be persistent about things; I didn’t want to sway him otherwise because he was all excited and letting it be was the better option for me (trust me, it would have ended in a heated conversation) So he gave C your number and the inevitable had to happen. I didn’t want to have anything to do with it though. Hence, the “forced” meeting that had to happen last Sunday. So there you were all too quiet not participating in the conversation, typical you (no offense meant there). I totally get it, you are not interested. But Miki, well, he’s a different story.

So your decision did not did not come as a surprise for me. But like I said, I want you to consider my point of view okay? So bear with me.

I think you should try looking at things in a different perspective. I’ve seen you do to C what you did to R when they were setting him up with you. Back then I understand that you were not completely over Clifford and you just didn’t need the distraction. Now, you are doing it to C again. But for what? K is history and I’d like to believe that you have moved on as he had. You are not currently attached and you are not seeing anyone! I would like to understand what is causing you to act this way. I will not be contented by “basta, indi lang ko ya.” Because that tells me you yourself do not want to rationalize your decision. That’s not how you deal with emotions. Not when you are nearing 30. You should do better than shutting yourself up from possibilities just because you are afraid to face them. It’s just not the way to do it, at least in my opinion. You can’t be wallowing in your comfort zone forever. Time and time again you will be tested. You will face the same dilemmas, you will feel the same feelings, and you will be in the same predicament. What will you do? You will, again, shut yourself into this controlled environment? Convince yourself that you did the right thing? What will you do if it happens again? When will you finally be, conscientiously willing to learn your lesson?

I guess I am just not talking about the whole C issue anymore. I’m talking about you. People have been bugging you about the decisions that you have made and the choices that you take. When will you be willing to do something about it? You have lots of talents, so much to offer. I know you’ve been hurt many a couple of times in the past. But you can’t just let the pain rule over you. It is time to let go.

It’s time to challenge old ideas and embrace the new.

If I haven’t convinced you enough, well, just tell him you are seeing someone. That’s a little more bearable that completely shutting him off. Either that, or you go out with him, don’t expect anything. Just let it happen.

Busted!

It’s a sad Wednesday morning for me. Mostly because the night before really took out the best of me. I came home from work all excited about my new Photoshop project. I didn’t have much to do yesterday so I used the time to surf the net for tutorials on the use of Photoshop. I stumbled into these great site – www.good-tutorials.com they had links to many useful resources. I bookmarked some of the good projects and was all excited about trying them out at home.

The first step would be to load the site but of course I forgot what it was so I have to access my email. While doing that I started to look into the usual places for pictures to use for my project. Checked Miki’s My pictures, none there, checked Shared Docs My Pictures, none there too. Where the hell are all the Removable Media folders! I clearly remember finding them where they were the last time I downloaded pictures for use in my blogs. I wasn’t panicky yet but I knew something was off. I waited for Miki to enter the room and casually asked him where the picture folders where. And when he started to tinker the keys, my hunch was confirmed – they are all missing. I felt my knees weaken and my spirit shrinking.

Before wallowing in our depressed state, we had to assess the extent of the damage. After all, it might not really be that bad.

Step 1: Check folders one by one. None found.

Step 2: Search for files. None found.

Step 3: Check hidden files. None found.

Step 4: Check Photoshop Album Starter. Voila! There they are! Good sign

there. Try to copy files, missing. Try reconnecting files, missing. Try opening files using other applications, missing.

Wow, so much for desperate optimism! Damn! How could something stupid happen to overcautious individuals like us? Miki with all his experiments, downloading everything in the net to protect his computer from spywares, malwares, adwares, viruses, worms, bugs etc. etc. Miki get all protective about his laptop with Boz around. All those efforts, and still it was not enough. We failed to see that our protect-our-laptop-plan was not as impregnable as it appeared to be, it was still very much vulnerable to human curiosity! Damn!

After learning the extent of the damage, the next step was to figure out the who, what, when, where and hows of it all. Round up all possible suspects:

1. Who : Me

Last Use of PC: Saturday night

Purpose : Watch Click

Alibi : Didn’t touch anything else. I just turned off the

computer after using it.

Anomalies : none that I can remember

2. Who : Angel

Last Use of PC: Friday night

Purpose : Watch Harry Potter 4: Goblet of Fire

Alibi : Didn’t touch anything else. I just turned off the

computer after using it. Besides, Miki was there so she

didn’t have time to do something else. And she was

sleepy already. She has to be it was past midnight!

Anomalies : none that I can remember

3. Who : Miki

Last Use of PC: Just before going home

Purpose : **I don’t know**

Alibi : **I don’t know either. But I trust him not to sabotage

something this important. At least not intentionally**

Anomalies : Last time he checked ( after the Boz incident) hard disk

free memory around ~23 GB . When he checked last

Monday he checked he still had ~30 GB! Where did all

those files go?

4. Who : Sum-ag kids

Last Use of PC: Sunday Afternoon

Purpose : Watch Harry Potter 4: Goblet of Fire

Alibi : Don’t know. I was too busy doing my Boz chores that I

didn’t have the chance and the time to check on them while they were watching the movie. All I knew was when it was done, they called Miki to turn it off and to pack it away.

Anomalies : The laptop sensor thing ( I don’t know what it’s called

but I know it’s for what you use in lieu of a mouse) was already enabled when he got to the room, the laptop facing straight (the last time he remembered it was slanted).

Wow, so much for pinning it down to the obvious culprit. Damn! Damn! Damn! I’ve been young once and I understand where they are coming from but, man! To even think about doing it and keeping it to yourself? Sparing yourself of damage control? Of course, I am just venting it all out now. Any effort of getting the info from them would just be futile. Talk about self-preservation.

On second thought, what if the mysterious disappearance of files happened even before our weekend in Bacolod? What if Miki accidentally got rid of it? hay hay hay… there’s really no way I could tell. The damage has already been done.

We purchased a digital camera to capture the better moments of every day life, to record memories from celebrations, important events and rarely usual occasions! and we were able to do that for the longest time now. Now we have to restructure all those lost photos, check if we still have copies of them. Miki’s looking at a good 5 five months of photo and video files that we need to recover.

Still pays to be redundant.

Morals of the story:

1. Be Redundant. It’s counterproductive. But if you are not sure you can really protect yourself from the destructive forces of the universe. It’s the only way to go.

2. Be Afraid. I figured you can never be too sure about what will happen to you no matter how prepared you are. So always be on your toes!

Hay…. Life gets better with challenges!