Too Soon for Goodbye

I had an earlier post about daring myself not renew my contract and seek work elsewhere. And just as I had mustered the courage to finally submit my application to some prospects and seriously consider my aunt's offer to join her in Dubai, I got swamped at work! I had to make plans for an upcoming assessment, set-up a photo accomplishment exhibit and got invited to attend to some meetings. How so uncool is that?

Our HR officer also reminded me to process my recommendation for renewal lest my end of the month pay will not be processed. Then I go hwaaaaaat? First you deducted all my fixed deductions from my June 1-15 pay, now you're telling me that I won't get my salary on time? Aaaaargh! Too much!

So I did it! I sought my supervisor's recommendation and handed it in to HR! Now I am tied up for another six months. Another six months in contemplation. I am 7 months overdue from my 3-year work habit (never staying more than 3 years in a job). Still complaining, but never really caring to take the bold step. At least not yet.

One of our MIS staff is leaving! her resignation was finally accepted after a month of haggling and convincing otherwise. Jo's resignation will also come to effect with her not processing the renewal of her contract. People are inching away from this organization. Yet I'm here... Is it just too soon?

I ain't Sharing, not anymore!

The thing with local area networks is that it's a very convenient way of accessing and sharing files. And it is also the easiest way to get your files accessed and infected by common viruses and worms! Waaa! I am not computer savvy so the idea of having the AVG window popping up relentlessly informing of threats found on my computer. A worm has found its way to my shared documents in the network and has embedded itself in all my folders! And to think I am a folder freak! Waaaaaaaa!

MIS was busy so I had to find temporary solution to my problem. I disabled my pc connection from the network and started to remove the worm manually. Took me a whole half-day, three re-scans using AVG and a restart to make sure that my killing spree was successful! I'm glad it was! or so I hope. No more pop-up windows from AVG so far.

So I am not sharing anymore! I'm changing the setting of my files from shared to personal. If they want to access my files from somewhere, they will have to tell me personally. And if I want to access my files from another pc, well, there is always the flash disks to use. I will just have to live with the inconvenience for the time being. Until MIS finds a permanent solution to my problem.

Call me greedy but I ain't sharing!

Hero-fied

I've been "hero-fied"! I'm referring to Heroes the new tv series from NBC. I first knew about it from my good friend Naling who got hooked to it as early as February. I swear, I fell asleep watching one episode with her. That's just because I came from a three-day mind-cracking session during a seminar-workshop. When I got home, I told my hubby about it and he too got intrigued and proceeded to devoting some time to downloading the series from the net.

The copy's been with us for almost two months now and it's just this weekend that we really found the time to watch it. And then we were glued! It's only Tuesday today and I can't wait to watch the last 4 episodes of season 1!

So, what got me hooked?

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I Dare Myself!

Technically, my contract will terminate at the end of the month, 30^th of June. But with the memo from higher-ups requesting our bureau to retain all of us in the contractual position for another 6 months, we are in for an extension. Hmmmm….. what if I don’t want to renew my contract? What if I will just tell my supervisor that on the last working day of the month? What if I just don’t show up at work on July 2?

Crazy, huh? Not! This isn’t the first time that I thought about it. And just this afternoon I was actually thinking of it more. So I dare myself to leave! To start considering other careers! Go job-hunting! Try ko lang! And if I get lucky and get a nod before the end of the month, hmmm, we’ll see. *winks*

I Turned Three

Boz turned three last May 30. And because he had been sick weeks before the big day, my officemates told me that I should celebrate his birthday with at least a little handaan. We had a jollibee party for his first and an intimate dinner with close family and friends for his second. Given that we now have bigger living space (we're not living with my hubby's aunts), I thought it would be nice to try and have a children's party at home!

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Sticky Heads

gum
gooey, freshly chewed
inconveniently disposed of

flattened at the back of a chair
under the table, on a park bench

spat on the bus
the covered walk, the mall entrance

inches away from the trash can
stuck on the trash can cover
never inside one

close encounter with a gum
gooey, freshly chewed
inonveniently disposed of

animates my day

When is the Time to Let Go?

I've been thinking about losing Boz's nanny but I couldn't quite make up my mind about it. Boz is already 3 years old. We're sending him to school this June and minus the hatid-sundo-to-school problem, I see that I can very well cater to his needs, which is not really much anymore considering that he can now feed himself and no longer asks for dede during the day.

What really concerns me is that his nanny since he was 2 months old, is not the nurturing kind. She cares about my son yes, but a child needs more than caring, right? He also needs to grow in an environment conducive to learning. We've always seen how Boz was quick at learning shapes, colors and figures ever since he has 1 yr 6 months old. This encouraged the hubby and I to buy him more learning tools to further stimulate his interest to learn. But since I am working, I would leave the house with instructions to the nanny on what lessons to tackle for the day. And she would try to engage Boz into the learning mood. But as soon as he resists, she just drops the whole thing and give in to my son's plea for more TV time.

I don't really mind their watching Nick Jr. shows but I believe that learning should be guided and processed so the lessons are not lost. I would like to solicit advices re my dilemma before bringing the issue up with my hubby. Please share your thoughts and experiences. Many thanks!

"Interview Tag"

My dear friend gladita got me curious about doing this "Interview Tag." You get a chance to be interviewed by me too, just follow the instructions below.

Here are my answers to G's 5 questions:

1. How would you want to be remembered?

• Still trying to live up by Khalil Gibran's standards - by the son that I sired, by something I wrote and by the trees that I planted.

2. How has motherhood changed you?

• I learned to appreciate my mom even more. When you play hands-on mom, you learn to multi-task - do household chores, attend to your son and husband's needs while still finding the time to squeeze in some personal fun. Then at the end of the day, you look back at all the things that you've done and you say, "wow! mommying is meant for supers!"

3. What are the top 3 places you would like to visit before you die?

1. Venice, Italy - always wanted to ride the gondola with La Vie en Rose playing in the background, visit Piazza San Marco and enjoy everything Italian.
2. Japan - because it's a tough country to get in, unless you have official business there. I want to cross the busiest pedxing in the world, visit the Shinto temples, ride their bullet trains, get a taste of their countryside.
3. China - not only for the bargain goods but more for its cultural heritage. There is just so much to know about China. I want to be able to trudge along the Great Wall of China, visit the Forbidden City, among many other places. And because people believe that in the long run, China will win, it's just apt to know who you are dealing with.

4. If you were given a chance to live your next life (assuming you believe in reincarnation) as an animal, what animal will you be and why?

• A sea turtle, because they live to a hundred! hahahhahaha, unless they are caught by unscrupulous fishermen. I want to be a watcher as in the movie the Highlander. I want to live to tell the good and the bad about the people and events happening around me.

5. How would you describe happiness?

• It's what's keeping me from losing my mind and strangling innocent bystanders... Joke! Happiness is when you have full acceptance of the moment for what it is and what it stands for.

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Can't Believe I Missed!

We've been too caught up with our efforts to attend to our ailing son (fever, gum sores, tonsillitis, to name a few of his maladies) that we, the hubby and I forgot about the very significance of the June 7th that passed! - The very day, twelve years ago, that I accepted hubby's offer of love and a lasting relationship.

Twelve years ago, I was starting my second year of college while the hubby enrolled on a second course just so we could spend more time together in campus. I remember very well the roses that came every monthsary, the greeting cards (one time, we picked the same card!), the dates (which for the most part require a lot of stomach development). I also remember the tears shed over petty quarrels and jealousy-denied-to-death moments. Life and love had been good to us. And so when it was time to move on to the next phase, the decision came spontaneously.

Twelve years into each other. The roses come far in between, more so the cards. But the silent conversations, agreeing to disagree, the respect that we have for each other's space and individuality, the element of surprise, all these and many more carried us on from year to the next.

And so it felt funny to have missed it. And to think we're not that old!

We officially celebrated our twelve years by taking a walk from home to the nearest store to buy Boz's school uniform. Holding hands, talking about the light drizzle, the good and bad decisions of the day. We talked about hopes of winning the lotto, Boz and what was for dinner. We held hands crossing the street and made our way back home. There was no sparks, only a deeper sense of contentment and peace. I was with my soulmate. No sugar coating needed.

Tired/Happy

Been out of circulation for more than two weeks now. Work and Boz's been keeping me away from my daily blog time. I miss this, but I had to play employee and mother at the same time.

where was roxie...

• field work, got busy for the BIG event which turned out okay, with a few glitches charged to our being all new to event organizing
  
• had to cut my trip to the BIG event short due to some medical emergency at home. Boz was not eating, not taking any milk, down with fever and crying all the time. The hubby was already fearing the worse. the doctor was suspecting meningitis. hearing it, I decided to jump on the next bus ride home as soon as I was through with endorsements
  
• when I went down the bus, I saw a very skinny Boz, so frail yet so happy to see me. (he lost 2 kilos in the 5 days that I was away!) melted my heart.
• took Boz to the doc and found out that he had tonsillitis (Thank God it was not meningitis!). then we proceeded to giving him his meds and well, fatten him up.
  
• Boz celebrated his birthday! (will post the pictures after i'm through with some tweaking *winks*) i wanted to have it at home and since i didn't get much hands to help, i was tired/happy when it was finally over.
  
• Boz celebrated his birthday (again!) in Bacolod. my relatives from my mother's side of the family got to partake of the little handaan and the bus-shaped cake which I promised Boz i will make.
• back to work, bored a little, shocked a little, busied a little... i'm still getting a hang of the events that passed
• will be away again this weekend, family beach outing! yipppeeeee.

Busy days like these i don't mind. it's fun celebrating life and its many perks!