The Fault In Our Stars is a teenage love story. But if you are a parent, it's hard reading this
story without having to think of how far you would will yourself to
sacrifice for the sake of your sick child. It's just heart breaking. It
hurts to see your child suffer the consequences of something that is not
of his or even your own doing. That your lot is predetermined and all
you can do is live with it, cope with it and hope that you can buy
yourself some time to accept the inevitable. And when it's time, no
matter how hard you've psyched yourself up that things are happening for
the better, you still find yourself hopeful. That you had another day,
another chance, another free pass. Then you fall into the pit of
rethinking things over and over again, analyzing what you could have
done differently to alter the course of things.
The
ordeal that Gus and Hazel Grace had to go through, it's tough. To be
sick for a very long time and have practice-dying episodes over and over
again, will definitely give you a different perspective of dying. You
get to become one of the few lucky ones who get to embrace the
eventuality of their demise and really prepare for it. I guess this is
where the value of a support group figures into the picture. When you
are sick, beyond anything that you can handle, you look for help, where
help is available. You need all the reinforcement that you can get to
help you fortify your resolve, to give you that outlook that keeps you
afloat amidst the bitter realities of your illness. With their help, the
pain will be more bearable and you will begin to see things in a more
rational manner. Then you get to start planning things, pick what you
want to wear for your own funeral, be in on the decision making on how
you would want things to go the day you leave. Even hold your own
pre-funeral eulogy which I think is sad, but makes perfect sense. After
all, shouldn't the departed hear what people around him is supposed to
say about him while he is still present? It really struck a chord for
me. With my mom diagnosed with cancer, it led me to thinking how I'd
eulogize her and how much of what I would have wanted to say I've
already told her while she is still here.We're not really people who
like to talk about dying or making plans for how things should be dealt
with when it's time to go. I would not want her to think that I'd love
to see her go. But if I'd have it my way, I would want her to know, in a
few words or so, how much she means to me and how her loss would leave a
void in my life that none could ever replace.
The Fault In Our Stars also made me realize that losing my son and my husband could be
the death of me. I don't know if I would ever survive it knowing that as
I think about it now, I could picture my whole world crumbling down and
me sinking into an oblivion I would not want to resurface from.
I'd
like to say a prayer for all the families out there battling cancer. I
pray for strength so they could carry on and resolve to move forward.
Keep the faith!
No comments:
Post a Comment