I understand where you are coming from but I hope you would also consider my point of view on the matter. Even before Miki told you about C I already knew it was not going the path of happy ending. Knowing you for years now, I knew he was not your type (admit it!). But don’t worry; I kept my thoughts to myself so Miki doesn’t have the faintest idea.
Of course, you know Miki could be persistent about things; I didn’t want to sway him otherwise because he was all excited and letting it be was the better option for me (trust me, it would have ended in a heated conversation) So he gave C your number and the inevitable had to happen. I didn’t want to have anything to do with it though. Hence, the “forced” meeting that had to happen last Sunday. So there you were all too quiet not participating in the conversation, typical you (no offense meant there). I totally get it, you are not interested. But Miki, well, he’s a different story.
So your decision did not did not come as a surprise for me. But like I said, I want you to consider my point of view okay? So bear with me.
I think you should try looking at things in a different perspective. I’ve seen you do to C what you did to R when they were setting him up with you. Back then I understand that you were not completely over Clifford and you just didn’t need the distraction. Now, you are doing it to C again. But for what? K is history and I’d like to believe that you have moved on as he had. You are not currently attached and you are not seeing anyone! I would like to understand what is causing you to act this way. I will not be contented by “basta, indi lang ko ya.” Because that tells me you yourself do not want to rationalize your decision. That’s not how you deal with emotions. Not when you are nearing 30. You should do better than shutting yourself up from possibilities just because you are afraid to face them. It’s just not the way to do it, at least in my opinion. You can’t be wallowing in your comfort zone forever. Time and time again you will be tested. You will face the same dilemmas, you will feel the same feelings, and you will be in the same predicament. What will you do? You will, again, shut yourself into this controlled environment? Convince yourself that you did the right thing? What will you do if it happens again? When will you finally be, conscientiously willing to learn your lesson?
I guess I am just not talking about the whole C issue anymore. I’m talking about you. People have been bugging you about the decisions that you have made and the choices that you take. When will you be willing to do something about it? You have lots of talents, so much to offer. I know you’ve been hurt many a couple of times in the past. But you can’t just let the pain rule over you. It is time to let go.
It’s time to challenge old ideas and embrace the new.
If I haven’t convinced you enough, well, just tell him you are seeing someone. That’s a little more bearable that completely shutting him off. Either that, or you go out with him, don’t expect anything. Just let it happen.