Thursday, April 26, 2007

Back Again

I'm going back to work after two days of house arrest due to allergies. So much for asking the heavens for a reason to stay at home. It's happening again, me wanting an excuse not to go work, only this time, fate gave me a very good reason not to.

So, what to expect?

Well, memos have to be sent, proposals followed up, and some preparation for tomorrow's trip to Boracay. Work of course! Miki would have wanted me to beg off so we can go home to Bacolod and enjoy the long weekend. He almost came close with my allergy attack. But then, that was just an almost and I still have to go.

This post is boring me already, so think I will have to stop now.

Now I AM in the office. And I am so full of negative energy right now. Left the house already feeling this way with the nanny not saying anything and banging things after I asked her to prepare my son's breakfast. i feel heavy thinking about my trip to Bora tomorrow and what it's doing to our planned family vacation to Bacolod for the long weekend. Miki's been looking forward to this, a reason to break free from stress at work. but i'm blowing it, by actually consenting to doing my work duties. i feel heavy because i wanted to go, to really be doing something at work. that i am actually seeing my worth in this job, at least for this project.

i feel heavy that i wasn't here in the office for two days and they encountered some problems with the coop, because i was not able to disseminate last meeting's minutes to the persons concerned, and because action was taken on a loan application with the bookkeeper, the credit committee and the business manager, all of which were not present during the BOD meeting, approved it. and the vice-chair, completely forgetting about it too.

i feel heavy that even if i am finding meaning in my work, i am still depressed. that i am still wanting a way out.

so i am back to my old self... just as i left it.

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