Monday, October 22, 2007

Elegy for an Uncle

I may have not known much about your life but I tell you, during your funeral, I will weep for everything that you stand for in my life.

I will weep for you as I recall with much nostalgia, my Barbie Doll (the only one I ever had). You were never hesitant to share what you had and I was lucky to be showered with toys from the few occasions that you dropped by our house from your OFW stint. Barbie symbolized everything beautiful that I so so wanted as a child but was deprived of because of financial considerations. It outlasted every other doll I had, mainly because I never got to play with it often as it found its place on the shelf in our sala for display purposes. It would have had been alive until now had I not cut its hair and beheaded it for some crazy reason that only teenagers dare to understand.

I will weep for you as I think of my own father. I know you loved him dearly as much as he loved you. You might have grown apart as you struggled with your individual battles but I always felt that he looked up to you for guidance and wisdom. In many occasions he chose to follow the life paths that you took. Difficult as it is, he failed where you succeeded. Even in conquering death.

I will weep for you as I look at your children, all grown up and accomplished in life - the dentist, the pilot and the priest. God knows you gave your all for them. All those years of hardwork abroad, being away from home all the time. It must have been very sad and lonely. But an endeavor, I know you would not have had regrets doing. Because today you can see how much easier life is for them. Three children whose dreams were made real because of your hardwork and determination.

I will weep for you as I cuddle your grandchildren, especially the youngest, who's only three. They will miss the opportunity to be pampered and cared for by a grandfather. Of being told of stories about your life during your heydays, of how you met and fell in love with your wife, of trivias about their mom and their uncles and of simply being loved by you.

I will weep for you as I greet everyone who will attend at your funeral, for they all have stories to tell about how you have touched their lives. There would have to be sad ones but most will be full of admiration at how bravely you have fought your battles and have survived life's ups and downs.

I will weep as I pay my final respects to you for you are one person I would have wanted to know more to understand who my father was and who I am. Something that I never got to do since I was too busy carrying on with my life. Each meeting, each encounter was always filled with longing, words that were always left unsaid and a deeper yearning to connect.

I wish you leave with happiness in your heart for all the accomplishments that you have achieved in your lifetime. I wish people around you, people whom you consider dear to your heart did not commit the same blunder as I did, of wanting to show you love and affection but never really did.

I wish you leave without any regrets or apprehensions. Because life will go on for us... smoothly, because you have made things better in one way or another. Your loved ones will continue loving each other and care for each other, even more now because you are missed. You will be in our prayers and in our thoughts. And the memory of you will linger in every soul and object that you have touched in this earth.

Carry on with your journey, don't look back. It's all about you now and our Creator.

Farewell my dear Uncle, Farewell!

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